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Kylie Jenner 'always stayed in touch' with Jordyn Woods. When should you forgive a friend?

​​​​​​​View Date:2024-12-23 23:37:21

Can you stay friends with someone who wronged you and your family?

Kylie Jenner seems to think so. The beauty mogul and reality television star, 26, revealed to Interview Magazine in a story published Monday she has remained friends with her longtime bestie Jordyn Woods, even though Woods admitted to kissing Tristan Thompson, the ex of Jenner's sister Khloé Kardashian.

"Jordyn and I, we always stayed in touch throughout the years and we would meet up at my house and catch up and just talk through everything," Jenner said. "We never fully cut each other off, and one day, naturally, we were like, we want to get sushi and we don’t want to hide anymore."

More:Kylie Jenner reveals she and Jordyn Woods were secretly friends for years

Having a close friend who does something wrong – or at least you feel like has done something wrong – can be a complicated experience. Experts say there often isn't a clear answer on whether to forgive and preserve the friendship or cut them off entirely.

"Just like romantic relationships, we also pour our hearts out to our friends, and share personal, often confidential information with them," Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert and author of "Secrets to Surviving Your Children's Love Relationships," previously told USA TODAY. "When the friendship doesn't work out, we feel rejected… We feel hurt when we value others and they don't attach the same value to us. And it is typically our close friends and romantic partners who cause us hurt feelings the most."

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Kylie Jenner, Jordyn Woods and the pain of a friend's betrayal

Woods' relationship with Thompson made waves around early 2019, as speculation about the demise of Thompson and Kardashian's relationship mounted. In a March 2019 interview on "Red Table Talk," Woods, then 21, admitted she and Thompson kissed but denied speculation she was the reason for Kardashian and Thompson's split.

Kardashian thought differently. She tweeted after the episode and accused Woods of being the reason her family "broke up" but later walked back her comments, admitting she was going through a rough time and felt humiliated by the rumors. She apologized for blaming Woods.

In Monday's Interview Magazine story, Jenner said she believes "there's a learning lesson in everything."

Experts say that people assume their good friend will always remain trustworthy, loyal and respectful. That's why when they betray us, it hurts even more. 

"When the person who is supposed to provide positive coping is then the cause of our stress, it can really be a two-fold situation," Courtney Tracy, a licensed psychotherapist known to her 1.8 million TikTok fans as "The Truth Doctor," previously told USA TODAY. "Not only do we feel we don't have anyone to turn to, but now there's added stress and trauma within the friendship."

This pain makes it difficult to remain friends with someone.

"When you feel hurt and like the other friend doesn't have your best interests at heart, it's hard to still be someone's close friend," Orbuch said, adding that a friend's betrayal can lead to mental health consequences, like anxiety and depression, and impact other interpersonal relationships.

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Is it possible to forgive a friend who hurt you?

Forgiveness after getting hurt by a friend, however, is possible, but it requires a sincere apology that admits responsibility as well as a discussion about how things will change moving forward.

Forgiveness also does not have to mean the friendship will continue.

When considering whether or not to keep someone as a friend, it's important to remember two things can be true at once: Someone could have been great to you and horrible to someone else.

"You can have a friend that is very nice to you, but also victimizes other people," psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis previously told USA TODAY. "That terrifies us as people, that there can be someone that is good to their kids, is a good employee, is a good friend of ours, and then they can have this entirely different side that we knew nothing about."

If you are struggling to discern whether you should keep someone as a friend after they've done something wrong, experts offer the following guidance:

  • Respect those who were hurt: "Think about how would you react if you were friends with the person who was on the other side of this, who was the one victimized," Erica Chito Childs, a professor of sociology at Hunter College and The Graduate Center, CUNY, previously told USA TODAY. "Obviously it's difficult, but you have to try to also make sure that you yourself are not inflicting more harm."
  • Feel your feelings: This can be done through therapy or journaling, Shasta Nelson, friendship expert and author of "Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness," previously told USA TODAY.
  • Reflect on what continuing to be friends would mean: This is something that one can do with all friendships, Sarkis said. "It's important just from time to time to do emotional inventory of our friendships," she said. "Look at what are the feelings you had the last time you met with a person. Do you feel supported? Do you feel respected? Are you afforded dignity in the relationship?"

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Contributing: Jenna Ryu, USA TODAY

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